Call me a traitor to my gender but women can be vicious, paranoid, and cruel to each other. It's something I've seen in every job I have worked at and every group of women I have been out with. Young or old, it's rife and it's something left over from our schooldays when the popular girls would gossip behind each others backs. Everyone would put down the overweight, speccy, geeky kids and there was some one-up-man-ship over who was going out with who and who had the best stuff. It's something in our society women don't completely grow out of and this is becoming a very worrying trend and a negative message we are sending to all girls that this is the way to get ahead.
As a tomboy growing up, I missed out on relationships with girls as I tended to hang out with boys. The difference between the way men interact and the way women do is very interesting. Guys tend to do one of three things when they feel threatened. They take the piss out of the person to their face in a harmless but telling way. Failing that, they tell them straight why they are pissed off or they just ignore them and get on with the Biro tower they have been making since Tuesday. I'm not saying that guys do not get hung up over things or worrying if they look good, are doing a good enough job, are good in bed, etc. Some would even stab each other in the back just to get the last sandwich but they tend to be more direct. They don't calculate the way women do or inflict long term cruelty. They don't make long winded excuses why what they are doing is not mean. "I think the guy is a c**t". End. It is in this that women are far colder.
I've seen all sorts of excuses used for being cruel about another woman and they are almost the same. I've seen feminism used as an excuse to degrade someone who is attractive and girlie. Having kids is also a big excuse, ether having them or not as if you are a martyr to your womb. If you have them, women without them haven't a clue what real hardship is like (yourself being right up there with the women in the Congo because you have to do the school run). If you are childless, women with them use them as excuses and why should you cover for them in life? You have more important things like buying cake. The excuses get beyond silly and the worse part is it even affects well meaning women who are usually very kind and caring. There will be women reading this now who will not release that they have done the same. Even I myself have no idea if I have ever really hurt another woman in my fear of making female friends. The cruelty only registers to one person. The woman on the receiving end.
Why do we do this? It's because from a very early age, women are already encouraged to compete with one another. If we are not the prettiest, the smartest, the most talented, we feel not worthy and not good enough. Then as we become teens, we discover a way to get rid of those unwanted feelings and that is by putting each other down. Look at some of the industries geared towards women. Beauty, fashion, and health and fitness. It's all about being the best of the best, outshining others, achieving all your goals, and winning over any man you desire. Who the hell in real life has the time and money to do all this? Even feminism has affected our attitude as we feel this means we must have everything. The perfect job and family life. I guarantee all of you there is no such thing as a woman with a high powered job AND emotionally stable children. Sorry but it's true and the sooner we get this, the sooner we can actually relax and enjoy life.
At the end of the day, all female backstabbing, gossip, and cruelty boils down to our own insecurity. We need to stop listening to people telling us we need all these things to make us happy and accept the fact we have so much already. Real feminism is about support, not putting women down. The point behind it is we now have the right to choose what we want. Many women in the world still do not get those choices so let's be grateful and start to like each other again.
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